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When Bridesmaids Disagree

April 27, 2020

wedding bridesmaids bouquets

Yup.  Go ahead and echo the “Bum, Bum, BUMMM” in your head.  If you’re like me, you find it really inconvenient when someone disagrees with you. It’s not so much that they disagree, it’s that, well, we have to find a way to reconcile and come to terms with each other. And that can be awkward.

Even more awkward is when some of your very best friends disagree and you’re stuck in the middle, am I right? 

Such is the conundrum when Bridesmaids disagree, or can’t get on the same page with each other.  Maybe some want their hair professionally done on your big day, but other’s don’t want to pay for it. Maybe you let them decide on the dresses, but they have conflicting ideas of what will look good? Maybe your all-important bachelorette party shenanigans are dependent upon your besties making plans and they don’t all want to do the same activities?!

Yikes. Nobody wants to deal with that. 

If you’re still in the early planning stages of your wedding, there are some things you can do to head off bridesmaids conflict before it happens.

I highly suggest figuring out what YOU would prefer, whether it be for the dress options, style of hair for the day-of, bachelorette party activities, etc.; and making sure that you communicate to them (or at least whoever is in charge of planning things) what you want.  After all, it is your day. Well, and your future husband’s, but we’re not discussing him right now. Let your girls know that these are things that are important to you, and everything else is theirs to handle. Also, let your girls know who the leader is in the group. If your MOH will be taking point on bridesmaid activities, send out a text at the beginning letting all of the girls know that! Then someone, other than you, can have final say on what is to be done or decided upon.

If you’re in the trenches of bridesmaids’ debacles, you gotta stand up, girl.

If they can’t decide on what the best option would be, either publicly give your MOH the ability to have final say, or tell them your perspective on their disagreement(s). You just have to squash it. Your engagement season is no time to have squabbles amongst your girls. They’re all there for you anyway! They love you, support you, and will likely do whatever you ask them to do (within reason). So trust that they want the best for you and will do what is necessary to continue to love and support you. The sooner you, or your point person, contain and settle the disagreement, the better. Don’t let it get out of hand before you step in. 

 

What issues have you had- past or present- with bridesmaids disagreeing?!  Did you handle it, or let them work it out?  Let me know below!

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I'm Katie! I'm a wedding planner, coordinator, and educator. I make it easy to plan your wedding, whether you're working with me directly, or planning on your own using the tools and resources I've created!

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